One week of no purging...achievement. Hopefully I can keep it up, also as I am trying not to purge I have pressured myself to restrict more as I know I have no other option as an out if I overeat. I do have my hard times and eat way more than I should, then I have days were I find it very very easy. I wish I had an in between. Hell I wish I could just not eat, then everything would be perfect, I would have total self control.
I feel in control today. Although I know if I eat now I will lose all control so me no eaty. It is 11pm and my calorie count is 410cals. This is mainly because I didn't go into my placement today, so I slept in later, hence no eating. I am so happy of myself today. I feel like I achieved a lot. I worked a 3 hour shift in the chinese and I didn't eat anything. I get a free meal and didn;t even take it =], it wasn't even tempting, there was no mind games going on in my head trying to convince myself not to eat.
Came home I got into bed and caught up on all my programmes. (glee, vampire diaries, bones and of course ANTM- which I can't fucking believe that Alexandria went home, should have been Hannah!.Tyra said to Alexandria, "You have too much control" What! #!%^&$!! Fuck. Control is good! I wanted to cry! ahhh Goddammit I wanted her to win! Im rooting for Molly now, she may be grumpy a lot but damn she is gorgeous! and I sorta just love her, she brings out my gay side sometimes. lol. ) My mum then bought the whole house pizza. I declined, it was easy. I am happy. Then my mum gave me two sausages for my to feed to my dog, I smelt them. It was enough. I am happy. Success.